Please Stop Loving Me
by mochaspice
Summary: It's not that I wanted James Potter to be in love with me, he just was. But when he told me it was such a total and complete shock. My plan to make James Potter stop loving me had failed.
1. Chapter 1: My Thoughts

Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to the Queen JKR.

Summary: It's not that I wanted James Potter to be in love with me, he just was. But when he told me it was such a total and complete shock. My plan to make James Potter stop loving me had failed.

Chapter 1: My thoughts

"Bye mom, I'll miss you so much", I said to my mother who had no other concern but to squeeze the life out of me and plant kisses on my face.

"Yes dear you have a good year now" she said after finally letting go and giving me a chance to breathe.

"Bye daddy", I said as my dad gave me an equally bone crushing hug.

"Have a good year dear and have fun", he said with a grin.

"I'll miss you both but I've got to go the train now! It leaves in two minutes!" I said as my dad hesitantly let go and I began to walk toward the Hogwarts Express.

As soon as I began to wave I saw a familiar face. There was the boy that was obsessed with me. The quidditch playing, messy haired, big headed, prick: James Potter. The biggest prat I have ever met in my entire life. I wish he would just deflate his head and accept rejection, I thought to myself. He was always acting as if he was the king of all and owned every girl in the school_ including _me. I suppose that was why he liked me. He liked the chase and he liked that I was unattainable. He could never seem to catch me, not like I would let him anyway.

Here are my thoughts on James Potter. Before I even knew him he became familiar to everyone at Hogwarts through his never ending pranks with his friends, Siruis Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. They even had a cute little nickname for themselves. They called themselves the mauranders. They were always busy playing childish pranks and were known as the trouble makers of the school. Everyone thought they were amusing and most of the girls thought them to be rather charming. I didn't, especially when I found myself the object of one of their pranks in 2nd year...

Flashback

The prank had begun because Black told Potter that I had notified a professor of their plan to go to Hogsmeade after curfew. Because of this Black received three days of detention and of course was seeking revenge on "that redhead girl". People had warned me to watch myself because the mauranders were known for taking revenge on anyone who crossed them. I paid no attention to that, I could care less about what they would do to me.

That same day as I walked back to the Gryffindor common room from charms, I noticed everyone staring at my face while stifling giggles. This went on for ten minutes so obviously I became very irritated. I became so angry that as I made my way up the marble ever moving steps I shouted "What!" to my perpetual audience. This stopped the crowd from giggling for about a minute after which they quickly resumed.

When I got into the Gryfindor common room I went up to my dormitory to look in the mirror and written all over my face, yes literally written in black, were the words "snitch". I gasped and frantically began to scrub the words off with soap and water. This only made things worse and turned the words a bright vomit green. I even tried countless spells which only got the bloody letters to turn from Green to Purple to Brown to Orange to Red. The red was the worst because the letters now looked as if they had been burned on.

When I finally came down to the common room, my face red from scrubbing and spells, I heard laughter escaping the mouths of Black, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew. Then finally Black said,

"Like the spell? Invented it myself!." Then he muttered the counter curse and said, "I think you've learned your lesson."

Then just as I muttered, "Bloody pricks" I caught a glimpse of Potters' guilty, yes guilty, expression that baffled me as I stormed off to the girl's dormitory.

End

In third year pranks were still pulled but much less often. The maruanders had discovered the opposite sex and had begun to refocus their attention. Sirius had his charm and good looks, Remus had his intellect and flattery, Peter who knew. As for Potter, he was a seeker and all the girls were infatuated with his looks. Not me of course. I couldn't care less about his perpetual messy jet black hair, his hazel eyes, his heart melting smile, his rule breaker attitude, his ability to charm, and the fact that he could have any girl he wanted wrapped around his bloody little finger. I would go on but I'm not one of his girlfriends. You'd be better off asking them.

All I saw in him was a big headed, show off, prat, who was incapable of some humility for once. He didn't care about anyone but himself and enjoyed himself by constantly being a prick to anyone out of boredom.

Potter began to notice me and try to impress me in fourth year. He would stare at me non-stop in the classes we had together and show off in front of me by shouting, "Evans, Evans look what I did" or "Evans look at snivelous". Sometimes he would just say my name over and over again "Evans, Evans, Evans", give me a break.

I got so tired of him I couldn't stand it. But I had no idea he liked me I just thought he was being his normal self, bragging and showing off. It's not like I cared anyway I had to focus on more important things like my studies. Not to mention O.W.L.S. were soon approaching.

In 5th year Potter began trying to ask me out. I didn't know why, all I had done was be mean to him and ignore him. I came to the conclusion that he only wanted to go out with me because he couldn't get me and if he did he would pick me up and drop me off. But many girls still said I was so lucky to have Potter drooling over me. Potter would ask me out at every possible chance he got, showing off for me more than ever by running a hand through his hair to make it messy. He thought this was attractive, I thought it made him look like a fool. He paid more attention to me than any of his girlfriends to the extent that they all broke up with him. But I would never go out with Potter. I would never give him the pleasure of knowing that he got every girl he wanted.

In our 6th year Potter made an attempt to deflate his air filled head and did not brag as much as before, to my surprise. But he didn't change toward the Slytherins, I doubted he would. I still refused to go out with him and I didn't know why he wouldn't give up and accept rejection. I mean he had girls kissing the very ground he walked on. I guess he never learned, he still likes me.

Now I'm climbing the steps of the Hogwarts express about to start the school year as head girl. I hope this will be a wonderful year, not to mention my last one. I also hope that Potter has given up. If not plan I'll be forced to turn to plan B. I'll make him.

A/N Thanks so much for reading!

-M.


	2. Chapter 2: Head Boy in Heaven

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I own nothing, everything belongs to the Queen JKR.

Chapter 2: Head Boy in Heaven

"Bye mum, you can let go now, _mum_ stop…You know I love you but you've got to let go", James said in pain and embarrassment as his mother let go from the five minute bear hug she had him in.

"Jamesy, now you better get on the train, 2 minutes till it leaves" Mrs. Potter said while tapping at her watch.

"Ok mum gotta run then! There's Sirius!" he said as his mom planted one final kiss on his cheek and he ran to catch up with his best friend.

"Don't forget to write to your father and I, and wear clean underwear! Say hi to Sirius for me!", Mrs. Potter shouted over the crowd of people at the platform.

"Why hello there Jamesie-Poo. Have a good summer?"

"Yeah Padfoot and my mum says hi"

"Yeah I heard, and Jamesy… please be sure to wear your cleanest knickers every day", Sirius said as a very embarrassed James turned scarlet.

"How was your summer padfoot?"

"I got my new apartment, it's pretty great"

"Yeah I'm sure it is. Have they got any rules about dogs?"

"Who knows mate but they don't have any about girls!" Sirius said mischievously.

"You know it!" James said with a grin and high fived Sirius.

This grin later faded into a frown prompting Sirius to ask, "What's up prongs, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint my fellow maraunder but I did something horrible, absolutely unforgivable."

"What did you do Prongs?"

"It's bad."

"I'm so proud of you mate!"

"No Prongs, you're not."

"Of course I am, what did you do?"

"I-I...I'm a-a... I-I mean... look", he stuttered as he took out of his pocket a shiny silver badge with the words "Head Boy".

"James Potter after all our trouble making how in the bloody hell did that happen?", Sirius said with a baffled look on his face.

"I-I don't know I was so surprised"

"I can't believe this! How are we going to play pranks? How are we going to set off stink bombs without you mate? It just won't be the same", Sirius said with disappointment.

"Don't worry mate we can still do that and since I'm head boy we won't get in trouble for it", James said grinning.

"Oh right… smart thinking Prongs! Who's head girl though?", Sirius asked.

"Who knows."

"Probably Evans. If it is we're dead, no more pranks for us, just detentions."

"You're dead, but I'm in heaven", James said beaming. With the thought of Lily as head girl James regained a new spring in his step as he boarded the Hogwarts Express. Unfortunately this his new spring caused him to trip and fall. As he turned to see the unfortunate soul who had broken his fall he saw Lily under his own body. He was still in heaven.

"Potter get off of me you're hurting my foot", she yelled as he quickly picked himself up.

"Sorry Evans", he said as she muttered a swift "prick" and slammed the door of her compartment.

"Smooth Prongs real smooth" Sirius said stifling a laugh.

"Sirius did you see what was on her chest?"

"You know it!" he said dreamily and attempted to give James a high five.

"No not _that_ Sirius, that! Did you see the badge?"

"Oh-oh right I meant the badge."

"She's head girl and I'm-I'm officially in heaven", James said smiling ear to ear attempting not to trip this time as he got in a compartment where he found Remus reading a book.

"Hey Moony reading another book again", James said as he sat down on the seat opposite of Remus.

"As always Prongs", said Remus his head still in the book.

"If only you read witch gone wild", Sirius said. "I'd totally read it with you".

"Yeah Moony, if only you read that we would understand all the reading for once", James said.

"I do sometimes mates"

"Seriously mate? In that case we should swap reads sometime!" Sirius said with a laugh as the train continued to Hogwarts.

A/N short second chapter. Hope you liked it! R&R as always. Happy Summer!

Love,

M.


	3. Chapter 3: In the Shower With Socks On

Please Stop...

Disclaimer: I own nothing, queen JKR owns all!

Chapter 3: In The Shower With Socks On

As the Hogwarts express slowly chugged along Lily Evans walked down the train. She finally found what she was looking for: the heads compartment. Inside, to her surprise, she found none other than James Potter. She quickly thought to herself, what do you know, it's Potter. What is he doing here? As she slowly stepped in Potter smiled his usual heart melting smile saved specifically for the ladies of Hogwarts. Most girls loved his smile, not her of course, that smile disgusted her.

"What are you doing here Potter?", she growled obviously annoyed.

"You didn't know Evans? This is the heads compartment."

"Yes I knew, so what in the world are you doing here?", she spat.

"Oh silly Evans you didn't know? I'm head boy!", he said triumphantly.

At that moment she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs NOOOOOOO but she didn't, she kept it bottled up inside. This is going to be so horrible... but wait... maybe this is one of his jokes, it's got to be, how could the head master pick that prick? It's impossible...she thought and she started feeling a little better.

"Potter this is a joke right?", she said seriously.

"No."

"It's got to be."

"No Evans look", he said taking a shiny silver badge that read head boy out of his pocket.

Once again she wanted to scream so badly NOOOOOO but instead she gave him a cold glare.

"So you're serious, that's not fake because if it is Potter... I'll tell the head master...I will" she said.

"Slow your brooms Evans I swear I got the letter and everything. And here I thought you'd be so proud of me."

"Oh bloody hell I hate this why did they make you... no wait how did they make you... bloody hell this is going to be the most horrid year!"

"No Evans you and me side by side, it'll be great."

"Whatever just don't talk to me Potter", she said as she took out a book and began to read.

"Evans..."

"Shut up Potter."

"Evans...I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"For what Potter."

"For hurting your foot."

"It's okay Potter, forget about it", she said as she resumed reading her book as the Hogwarts express began to slow to a steadier pace.

"I think we're almost there we better change", she said.

"Ok Evans I don't mind."

"Get out Potter."

"Why do I have to leave? Why can't you?"

"Because... Potter just get out."

"Fine Evans I'll leave", James said as he stepped out of the compartment and shut the door, and then 10 seconds later reopened it to find her lifting her green shirt.

"Out Potter…NOW", she said screaming. She was relieved he had only seen her belly button.

"I just wanted to say bye", he said as he shut the door quickly and avoided the shoe she vigorously threw at him.

As she resumed changing, after putting numerous spells on the door to lock it, she saw her head girl badge and thought about her situation. This is so horrible I can't believe this I'm stuck with Potter for a whole bloody year. I can't believe this, but I can't resign the head girl position. Maybe I should just ignore him and he'll leave me alone... on second thought, no way, when has Potter ever left any girl alone. As she finished pinning her head girl badge to her robes she unlocked the door and James came in also in his robes, badge shining.

"Now Potter when the sorting is finished we have to go with the headmaster so he can tell us our duties and the passwords for all the houses and then we have to-"

"-I'm not that stupid you know I got the letter too" he said flatly as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine Potter"

"Evans..."

"Potter can't you just be quiet till we get there?"

"Ok Evans but just to let you know, we're here."

"Good, let's go", she said as she stepped out of the heads compartment fiery hair billowing and James following it's floral scent. He was amazed he had gotten the privilege of an almost pleasant conversation with Lily. As Lily began to make her way off the train, James trailed behind her, following her into one of the horseless carriages that led to the castle.

"What are you doing here Potter."

"I believe I am trying to get to the castle in this carriage accompanied by the beautiful Lily Evans"

"Don't flatter yourself. Who said you could accompany me anywhere?"

"I wish you would."

"Fine, just please shut it Potter."

"The door?"

"-No that annoying thing you call your voice, Potter."

"I love it when you're angry, did you know...?"

"Potter I would like some peace and quiet."

"With me?"

"Keep on dreaming."

"You know, dreams come true sometimes Evans."

"Sure, Potter, Sure."

'Negativity isn't healthy you know."

"I'm not dead, I don't care."

"_Finally_, we're here" she said as the carriages stopped and she stepped out to see the magnificent castle walls all while being followed by a drooling James. When they finally entered the great hall they went their separate ways (not that Lily would want it any other way) James with his friends and Lily with hers. After she hugged and embraced them they congratulated her on a job well done after which the yearly speech from the headmaster followed as well as the grand feast. When she had finished her food she was lightly tapped on the shoulder and she sharply turned around to see James.

"What Potter"

"We're supposed to meet the headmaster for him to show us our living quarters, may I escort you", he said as he held out his arm and smiled.

"Never, anywhere", she said as she stood up and began to walk with him to the headmaster's office.

When they arrived there they saw the headmaster with a smile on his face as he said, "Congratulations Lily and James, well done! Now I assume both of you are anxious to see your living quarters so let me take you to them."

After climbing a flight of stairs and walking through the halls of the seventh floor they were finally there. There stood a gold door with a lion on it.

"Now you both will have patrolling duties Saturday nights and Sunday nights and will also have one night of patrolling alone. Miss Evans that will be Tuesday and Mr. Potter Wednesday. Your password will be "Civility" because I would like you to exercise this and try not to fight. Well I must be going I shall leave you to explore your living quarters", He said with a wink.

"After you Evans", James said politely as he said the password and the door opened.

"Thank you Potter", she said as she entered and was immediately impressed by her surroundings. There were two rooms connected by one bathroom and the living room had two sofas and a fireplace for the winter.

"This is wonderful", Lily said amazed.

"Told you the year would be great"

"I guess so", she said as she bounded up the stairs to her room and saw that her door had her name carved on it. As she stepped in she immediately gasped and closed the door behind her. Meanwhile James went to the bathroom to take a shower.

This is going to be great James thought as he stepped into the tub and began to pour the scented water. He began to take off his clothes engulfed in the thought of a whole year with Lily Evans. What he did not realize was the fact that he had not taken off his socks as he entered the water. He began shouting, "AHHHHHHHH my favorite socks", after which he stood up and out of the water just as the door knob leading to Lily's room turned. Panicked James dove back in the water just as Lily came in.

"Potter what are you doing, are you okay?", she said concerned

"Yeah fine I... umm just got in the shower with my socks on, no need to worry about me", he said grinning with embarrassment.

"Who said I worried?", she said as she quickly got out and shut the door behind her. James let out a sigh of relief and took off his soaked socks with little brown brooms on them and sunk back into the tub.

A/N Hope you liked the chapter! R&R

Love, love, love

M.


	4. Chapter 4: First Names and Hexes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Queen JKR owns all!

Chapter 4: First Names and Hexes

"Ugh, I did not need to see that... socks in the bath, how stupid is he?", Lily said with a smirk as she saw James come out of the bathroom, his hair wet and flat on his face.

"I'm not sure how stupid I am, but thanks for worrying" James said with a smile.

"I wasn't worried about you, I worried about the bathroom. You could have destroyed it."

"Well I didn't, so no need to worry."

"Evans can I ask you something?"

"What Potter?"

"Why do you hate me?"

"I've never said I hated you; I just... don't like you."

"Why?"

"Because you're you."

"How would you describe me?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Promise you'll leave me alone if I tell you?"

"Yes."

"Ok fine. Potter you are an obnoxious prat that brags too much and thinks too highly of himself. You are also a prick that hurts people's feelings because you're bored. And stop running you're hand through your hair you look like an idiot and-"

"Ok I get the picture, Evans. Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Yes Potter?"

"Can I call you by your first name?"

"Why?"

"Because I like your first name."

"Fine Potter."

"Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily dear, Lily darling", James said, loving how her name rolled off his tongue like honey.

"Potter I said you could call me by my first name and that's all."

"Ok Lily my little angel."

"Potter..."

"Ok I'll stop Lily."

"I'm going to my room, to finish my homework", she said as she walked to her room and closed the door.

"Bye Lily", James said as he left to his room.

Well that went well thought James as he ran his hand through his hair and suddenly stopped, remembering what Lily had said. According to what she had just told him, she hated everything about him, just great. At least now he could call Lily, the girl he loved by her first name.

Next day

I wish he would stop staring at me, Lily thought to herself as she glanced over her shoulder and met James's hazel eyes. As soon as their eyes met James gave her his trade mark smile as she turned back to her work and took more charms notes. She hated when he stared at her, it just annoyed her. She was already quite used to it but it still annoyed her. All of her friends thought it was oh so cute but she knew that they envied her and wished they had the same amount of attention that James gave her. I wonder how long it'll take James to tap my shoulder, Lily wondered just as she felt a light tap. This tap would eventually lead itself to James randomly saying hi to her as he usually did every charms class.

"Yes Potter?", Lily said as she turned her to face him.

"Hi Lily."

"Hi Potter, could you stop staring at me?"

"I'll try but it'll be hard."

"I appreciate the effort."

There were no further interruptions for the remainder of class and Lily was thankful, although she could still feel James staring at her. As class let out Lily attempted to gather her books, ink bottle, and quill, but for some reason they levitated and then dropped at her feet. As soon as the ink bottle hit the hard floor of the corridor, it shattered and black ink coated all of her books. She quickly glanced behind her and saw the Slytherins snickering.

"Leave her alone Malfoy or I'll hex you", James said coldly to Lucius Malfoy.

"I'm fine Potter you don't have to defend me."

"But Lily he spilled your stuff!"

"I know, and I'll clean it up."

"Yes you will, like the mudblood muggle that you are."

"Shut it Malfoy!", James said venomously as he drew his wand.

"No stop James, don't" Lily said.

Lily was too late, Lucius had drawn his wand and the boys had already begun hexing each other. Spells had begun to go to and fro bouncing off of the walls. Lily, in attempt to stop the madness, drew her wand in order to stun James.

"Lucius the headmaster is coming, hurry!", a Slytherin girl called in just enough time for Lucius to run off and avoid being blamed for the fight.

But Lily was a little too late for this and stunned James in order to stop him from running after Malfoy. Unfortunately the headmaster had seen everything. He quickly muttered the counter curse and James awoke from the spell just in time to experience the headmaster's fury.

"Mr. Potter and Miss. Evans what do you think you are doing? You both were made Head boy and Girl to set a good example and enforce the rules, not break them. I am ashamed of you both and you will both be receiving detentions for three days. You will have seventy-five points taken away from Gryffindor, and I expect this to never happen again unless you wish to give up your head positions, Am I understood?"

Open mouthed Lily began, "But headmaster-"

"I don't want to hear it Miss Evans, am I understood?", the headmaster angrily said

"Yes, headmaster", Lily said quietly as the headmaster quickly walked back to his office.

(A/N I don't know who the headmaster should be so he's just "the headmaster")

"See, now we have detention Potter, all because of you!"

"Me? You're the one who hexed me Evans"

"Why did you have to make such a big deal out of that, we could have avoided the entire situation if you hadn't hexed Malfoy."

"He spilled your books and he called you a mudblood!"

"So what, you didn't have to defend me."

"Yes I did, you don't even defend yourself."

"Leave me alone Potter."

"Fine."

"Fine Evans", James said as they both walked off in different directions dreading the fact that they would have to share a dormitory and see each other again.

A/N Thanks again for keeping up with the story! R&R!

Love,

-M


	5. Chapter 5: Detention with Potter

Please stop

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Queen JKR owns all!

Chapter 5: Detention with Potter

"Now Mr. Potter and Mrs. Evans you will both clean the potions classroom for three days, each day for three hours. The first years made quite a mess in here. Clean it immediately and do so _without_ magic."

That was Lily and James's exact instructions and Lily loathed them. The mess the first years made was no ordinary mess; the class had used newt tongues and bat dung as their main ingredients and they had also spilled some foul smelling purple potion. There were messes everywhere, on the desks and under them, as well as on the walls. They had to scrub, scrape, wipe, and clean the potions classroom for three hours, THREE HOURS! They had barely been in the classroom for twenty minutes and the stench of dung and of the potion was making her feel sick and lightheaded.

James hadn't uttered one single word to her and neither had she, they were still mad at each other. They had just picked up the rags and gotten to work. Lily was on one side of the room, her back to him, while James was on the other. If he had not made such a big deal and not tried to defend her, she wouldn't be stuck here holding back gags. She was seething with anger. As Lily finished cleaning another desk, she slowly turned around to find two hazel eyes staring at her. James was in front of her; clearly he had been standing there for a long time. Probably admiring my ass, Lily thought with disgust.

"Hi", James said.

"What do you want?", Lily said angrily her eyes boring into his.

"Do you need any help, because I finished my side", James replied as Lily looked to the other side of the room and saw remarkably clean desks and walls.

"No I don't need any help, I can do this myself", Lily said averting her eyes to the dirty desk.

"Ok Lily, I also… I guess I just wanted to say…I'm sorry."

"You don't mean it", Lily said turning her back to him.

"Yeah I do."

"Potter, just leave me alone, you got us into this mess so I just want to finish it."

"I'm really sorry about this, let me help you."

"No Potter, I'm (cough) almost done."

"No you're not, just let me help, you don't look so good."

" Thanks for the compliment Potter."

"No, I mean do you feel ok?"

"Not really", Lily said quietly with another cough, she was beginning to feel nauseous.

"Fine Potter, you can help me" Lily said as James picked up a rag and began to wipe slimy purple liquid off of the nearest desk.

Within thirty minutes the room was spotless and Lily was amazed. Although they both smelled of bat dung and were very dirty, Lily didn't care, at least they were finally done. She was not nauseous anymore and was also amazed that she was having a civil conversation with James Potter. Maybe he wasn't a total prick after all; this was a little too good to be true.

"So how did you learn how to clean so fast without magic?"

"I've had so many detentions that I'm sort of used to it"

"I should have guessed, do you get caught a lot or what?" Lily said with a smirk.

"No, but the professors, for some reason, automatically assume it's Sirius, Remus, Peter and me. Isn't that crazy?" James said innocently.

"It _always_ is you, Potter", Lily said with a faint smile.

James was absolutely giddy over the fact that they were actually acting civil towards each other and didn't realize how close they were, but Lily did. She started to become uncomfortable due to the fact that James was inches from her and again looking into her eyes.

_Why is he looking at me like that…? Maybe he's going to…oh no, no, no he wouldn't dare kiss me_, Lily thought to herself worriedly as her nausea began to return. Lily was about to move back away from him but didn't, curiosity kept her in place as she stared back into his hazel eyes. Then he quietly muttered,

"Lily, I'm sorry"

"For what"

"This…"

Before James leaned down she knew he was going to, before their lips made contact she knew what was coming. But for some reason she didn't move, again curiosity got the best of her. Lily didn't know what was happening as his lips faintly touched hers, but she had to stop this. Her anger was growing and boiling inside of her. _What a prick, he can't even have a conversation with a girl without kissing her! What a stupid, prick!_

Lily suddenly broke the kiss and looked at James with absolute disgust, confusion, and loathing before running out of the room and back to the dormitory without one single glance back. Lily had never been a violent person, but at this moment she felt like slapping Potter across the face. He definitely deserved it.

A/N Thanks for reading! Much love as always

-M.


	6. Chapter 6: Apologies

Please Stop

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Queen JKR owns all!

Chapter 6: Apologies

Dear Diary,

That…That Potter kissed me, can you believe it? He kissed me! How dare he do such a thing! We were actually getting along and having a civil conversation and then he ugh. I would have slapped him but for some reason I didn't. I was too…I don't know surprised and mad. He's never done that before, I guess he's wanted to though. What motivated him to like me so much? There are prettier girls at Hogwarts than me. What's so special about me? When will he just give up? This is exhausting. He can't really love me, he just can't. I won't let him. I'm going to have to be even meaner to him, and ignore him. Then maybe he'll leave me alone. I really hope so. I'm getting tired of all of this.

Lily's thoughts drifted as she closed her diary and put it on the floor. _That kiss wasn't a normal kiss. It was…sweet_, Lily thought but then mentally scolded herself. _No, It wasn't sweet, it was disgusting…I can't have an inkling of feelings for Potter._ With that thought she leaned back from her sitting position on her bed, pulled the warm covers over her body, and tried to fall asleep.

The next day Lily avoided James as much as she could, by not speaking to him or looking at him. She didn't even turn around for the occasional tap she received from him in charms class. When class let out Lily, again, easily avoided James but was stopped by Sirius when he caught up to her in the Hall.

"Lily, Lily, Lily", Sirius said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Evans", she growled.

"Right… Evans, how are you today?"

"What do you want Black?"

"Sirius", he said, correcting her, as he flashed a smile.

"I have noticed that you are avoiding my mate Pro-James, and on his behalf I would like to say sorry for whatever he has done to upset you, hence last night", He said in a charming voice to complement his charming smile and looked at Lily waiting for her response. Lily just glared at him, removed his arm off of her and snapped,

"Well he can stuff his Pathetic sorry up his little ass. If he wanted to actually apologize, which I doubt, he knew perfectly well what he was doing and it was no mistake, he would have actually done it himself, Black"

With that Lily turned and headed toward her next class leaving Sirius speechless. _Damn she's hot when she's mad!__ Jamsie has got his work cut out for him with this girl…_ Sirius thought as he calmly walked back to the hall where James stood with Remus impatiently waiting for his response.

"Padfoot, what did she say?"

"Sorry Prongs. Let me see, Lily, I mean Evans said…I believe… to shove your pathetic apology up your ass and if you would have wanted to actually apologize to her you would have done it yourself."

"She won't let me apologize to her! Every time I get close to her she walks away and every time I look her way she gives me a dirty look or won't bother to look at me at all! I'm afraid she's going to hex me the next time I step into our dormitory! What do I do now?"

"You need to approach her anyway Prongs", said Remus.

"What if she does slap me?"

"Well Prongs, it's not like you can slap her back, if she does, just try to be polite. You said what you needed to say, then just walk away", Remus replied.

"What do you mean moony? I am polite!", James said offended as the boys made their way into their next class which happened to be shared with Miss Lily Evans.

_Oh no here they come_, Lily thought as the boys made their way into the classroom and were immediately scolded for being late.

"Why are the three of you so late?" asked professor Binns dully.

"Oh just taking care of a little issue about Li-" Sirius said looking toward Lily, before being interrupted by a hard stomp from James' foot.

"Well take your seats and 5 points from Gryffindor; I expected better behavior from you Mr. Potter. After all, you are Head Boy now."

"Yeah what else's new" James muttered under his breath. _All these head boy expectations, they're driving me crazy_, he thought to himself as he took his seat behind Sirius who was behind Lily. All Head Boy and Girl meetings had been postponed until their detentions were over.

Lily managed to ignore James the whole class period, like the last, although she felt his eyes on her every now and then. Even when a neatly folded note came her way she took one look at it and flicked it off her desk carelessly as if it was a piece of trash. _I wonder what was in the note anyway_, she thought to herself a good ten minutes later. She looked at the floor scanning for the note and saw it inches away from Professor Binns' sight. Pretending to knock over some of her parchment Lily stood and picked them along with the note. She was worried if the professor picked up the note and it said something embarrassing about her, and he read it out loud to the class, which would be terrible. She didn't open the note but instead stuck it into one of her many books.

As the professor spoke she dreaded her second detention with Potter, she would definitely ignore him, even if he did apologize.

Once again the first years made a terrible mess and they had to clean it once more as the headmaster had instructed. This time the first years had used a sort of mucus found in the gullyswalmer plant. The mucus was bright yellow and green and smelled as terrible as the bat dung. The mucus was used to make a hair re-growth potion, very ironic because their potions professor was bald. It seemed as though the plants were brought in the classroom and had hacked the mucus up, because it was everywhere. Either that or the first years were very messy. She assumed they were because the dung was everywhere last time too.

Like the last detention Lily was on one side of the room while James was on the other. Lily was dizzier this time than the last, but kept working, after all unlike last time, she was almost finished. When Lily was finished cleaning the yellow glob on the floor she stood up, but unfortunately slipped and fell hard on the floor. The fall left her there on the floor on her stomach, some of the yellow stuff landing in her mouth, in the process. It tasted awful, and her knee hurt, she would definitely have a bruise. Instantly James was by her side trying to help her stand up. She reluctantly took his hand, as he asked her worriedly,

"Lily are you ok?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Does anything hurt?"

"Not really… except my stomach", Lily said hanging on to James tightly, while her stomach was bubbling. She didn't feel right, she was feeling dizzy and nauseous and her legs were feeling weak…

"I don't feel good I can't feel my…" Lily trailed off before she fell limp into James' arms.

A/N Thanks for reading! You all are lovely!

Special thanks to:  
-Diamondcrystal12  
-Carebearpirate  
-Auntarctic  
-SiriusJamesRemus'sgirl  
Pixy-Misa-Misao-Amano

-M.


	7. Chapter 7: Hospital Wing

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, Queen JKR owns all!

Chapter 7: Hospital Wing

_"I don't feel good I can't feel my_…" _Lily trailed off before she fell limp into James' arms._

"Lily, Lily, Lily, wake up_, please_ wake up!" James shouted as he began to shake Lily. After a few seconds of waiting for her to respond, James began to run to the Hospital Wing. He cradled Lily as best as he could with one arm under her legs while the other held her body securely against his. Her head rested limply against his chest and her eyelids fluttered but did not open. She was so weak, and James could tell she was running a high fever.

"Lily we're almost there", he said slightly out of breath. It seemed as if she couldn't hear him, all she would do was slowly breathe in and breathe out…

"Madame Pomfrey, Madame Pomfrey, Lily needs help!" James panted when he reached the hospital wing.

Madame Pomfrey, about ready to yell at James for being so loud, saw Lily in his arms and said to him, "Hurry Potter, put her on a bed. Be careful with her!"

James rushed over to the nearest empty bed and gently laid Lily down on her back.

"What happened, Potter?" She said in a worried but urgent voice as she walked over to Lily and began to examine her.

"We were just in detention cleaning Gullyswalmer in the potions classroom, she slipped and then she said she didn't feel good and that she couldn't feel something and then she just fainted…", James said still out of breath.

"Gullyswalmer, gullyswalmer … yellow and green, correct?"

"Yes I think it's for a hair re-growth potion."

Madame Pomfrey placed a hand to Lily's forehead and then looked at James and said seriously, "Potter, do you know if Miss. Evans ingested any of the Gullyswalmer."

"I don't know"

"I will have to consult the headmaster on this, Gullyswalmer is highly toxic. For now Miss Evans will need to stay here in my care. You may leave now Mr. Potter, thank you for bringing her."

"But Lily, I mean… I want to stay with her. What's wrong with her, why won't she wake up?", James said his words spilling out of his mouth as he looked at Lily, her eyes still shut.

"Can I please stay with her", James pleaded as he took Lily's hand in his.

"Very well, just leave before eight o'clock. I must go consult the headmaster. This must be treated as soon as possible. I will be fifteen minutes", Madame Pomfrey said sternly, leaving the room.

James left Lily's side for ten seconds to carry a chair over to her bed. Then he sat down and took her warm hand in his. He felt horrible; he couldn't do anything to make her better. He would give anything if he could, but she was just lying there and he didn't even know what was wrong with her. He just sat there staring at her, wishing she would open her eyes. _She is so beautiful; she doesn't deserve this_, James thought as he brushed some stray strands of red hair behind her ear. She was so perfect and she had no business being in detention with him. She was so good and so kind. She was always angry with him but he knew she was kind to everyone else. She truly was perfect and at that moment James had no doubt in his mind that he loved her more than anything…

A/N Thank you all for reading! Special Thanks to my reviewers:

lilred-07  
diamondcrystal12  
James'Gurl215  
WonkaNerd  
OhepelssOrantnci

Much love,

-M.


	8. Chapter 8: Just Listen

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, Queen JKR owns all!

Chapter 8: Just Listen

The next two days there were no news about Lily, and James was worried as ever. He had lost sleep, constantly worrying about Lily and how she was doing. He had gone to the hospital wing every spare moment that he had to ask if Lily had woken up yet. Each time Madame Pomfrey would shoe him away, threatening that Lily would not recuperate unless she was left alone to rest. But James refused to give up; at the end of potions, his last class of the day, he bolted up to the Hospital wing once more.

"Madame Pomfrey", he called quietly. But instead of being greeted by the stern old woman he saw the headmaster, and thought to himself, please let him know about Lily, please.

"Ah, Mr. Potter come to see Miss Evans?"

"Yes, headmaster. Do you know what is wrong with her?"

"Well we think we do but we are not certain."

"What is it?"

You do recall cleaning the gullyswalmer plant mucus in the potions classroom?"

"Yes, headmaster."

"Miss Evans seemed to have ingested some of the plant. Now, this plant is very toxic and can cause an individual to grow very weak, but is not fatal. With the potions we have been giving her, after one day, Miss Evans should have recuperated and regained her strength.

"But she…"

"Yes I know, it has been two days. And in addition to growing extremely weak, Miss Evans also fainted and was, and is, still running a high fever…we also believe she may have been allergic to the plant, but we are not completely sure."

"What is going to happen to her, will she be ok?", James blurted out.

"We hope so. All we can do is wait and keep treating her until she wakes up."

"Has Madame Pomfrey given her something for her fever at least?", James said somewhat angrily.

"Yes indeed Mr. Potter, she has been given a strong dosage of ferverentus potion."

_She better have_ James thought and then asked, "Can I go see Lily, Professor?"

"Sure, Mr. Potter"

As he walked over to Lily's bed he saw dozens of colorful "Get Well" cards and sweets from her friends. Too bad she wasn't even awake to see them, she was still in a silent slumber, her chest rising and falling with every breath she took. James sat down in the chair he pulled up to her bed the night she had fainted and took her hand. She still had a fever, but she wasn't as warm as the last time he had seen her. James couldn't stand to see her like this. He knew she couldn't hear him and but he didn't care as he began to speak to her.

"Lily, I wish you would wake up, everyone is worried about you they miss you and they've sent lots of chocolate frogs for you. I miss you; I wish I could do something to make you better…You've been in here for two days you know, but don't worry I've gone to all the head meetings and I've got all your homework. They think that you're allergic to the gullyswalmer… that maybe you ingested some of it and that's why you're like this...

Lily felt as if she was in a cloud as she slowly regained consciousness. She knew she was lying down and she was very comfortable. What happened to me, she wondered as she realized a warm hand was holding her own and she could hear something… a voice. The voice seemed a little fuzzy, but she could slowly make out what the person was saying. She was too tired and weak to open her eyes but could tell that the person talking was a boy and that he was talking to her._  
_  
"…When I saw you faint I was so…I don't know I just felt like like the world was over. I ran all the way up here as fast as I could and then Madame Pomfrey didn't even know what was wrong with you. I couldn't sleep, because I was so worried about you and I can't stand seeing you like this. I miss you and I wish you would wake up and open your eyes and say something. Anything! You could call me an obnoxious prick for all I care, as long as you woke up. I miss your voice and your smile. I need you. I know you can't hear me Lily… but you know…I really…I love you."

But Lily did hear him and kept her eyes shut. No boy had ever told her he loved her. And most certainly not while lying in a hospital bed. Her stomach felt funny. She didn't feel sick though, it was a strange feeling. She felt a rush of butterflies. For once she didn't want to tell Potter to shut it, not that she had the strength to anyway. She kept quiet waiting for anything else James had to say. For now she could pretend to be sick and didn't feel obligated to ignore him or walk away. When he left the hospital wing she would pretend none of this ever happened and everything would go back to normal. But for now she let Potter hold her hand and let him be.

A/N Thanks for reading lovelies! R&R please!

-M.


End file.
